Cubs Exhume Grissom; Sign to Deal

Cubs GM Jim Hendry has proven once again that he can be creative. Based on a tip from manager Dusty Baker, the Cubs have been able to exhume the mummified remains of veteran outfielder Marquis Grissom. Hendy has made extra effort to provide Dusty with aged veterans in one last push for a championship. Grissom added that the mummification procedure will actually allow him to continue playing for an additional 100 years.

(photo editied for realism: cubsfun.com received an email from Jim Hendry stating that he never does a presscon without his favorite snack readily available)